Chaosing

slog (verb): to keep doing something even though it is difficult or boring : to work at something in a steady, determined way

September felt like one long chaotic slog.

"Slog" sounds like such a negative word; perhaps I can invent one that describes the intense activity level without being pejorative, as I truly enjoyed a lot of it. But "to keep doing something even though it is difficult" surely applies. How about "chaosing through September." I haven't seen "chaos" used as a verb before, but that seems like an oversight.

The transition from summer chaos to school year chaos included: helping my previously homeschooled daughter to hit the ground running in public school, where she is playing clarinet in band and singing in the choir (which meets before school two mornings a week); my husband and I stepping up big time as booster parents at our daughters' dance studio, including creating a float for the rodeo parade and an online registration/billing system for the studio; participating in the county fair as a 4-H parent and helping my daughter participate as a 4-H kid (including cleaning poop off a hen's feet with a toothbrush at 7:30 AM); adjusting to the extracurricular activities schedule (Celtic dance, ballet, and horse events for our oldest daughter; ballet/tap dance and therapy for our youngest daughter; play dates for both); starting Knowledge Bowl practice sessions at our house with my daughter's classmate; and catching up on weeks/months/years of deferred projects around home while the kids are at school.

I also traveled to Missoula to help a friend move her elderly mother out of the home she'd lived in for 47 years, and then helped her in her seamstress shop when she returned and was buried in bridesmaid dresses and wedding gowns. (I'm not sure how much help I was; sewing beadwork and ripping out seams on intricately layered formal gowns isn't my forte!)

Several people have asked me what I do now that the girls are both in school full time. I should have created a time-lapse video of September's activities to hand out in reply. It's just too hard to explain how "all that free time" hasn't really been all that free yet!

This morning I awoke at 3:53 AM and couldn't get back to sleep, I was so filled with careening emotions. I think I'd been dreaming about something upsetting. At one point I even snuggled up with my oldest daughter for a bit just to feel close. I miss our time together from our homeschooling days. I have some regrets about the decision, but I knew that was inevitable. I want to connect with her meaningfully in our limited time together, but it's so hard to find the time now. I rejoice in her happiness with her new friends, as she's a social butterfly who hadn't had much luck finding bosom buddies in the homeschool community. But it pains me when she describes the boredom and frustration she experiences because of the inanity of the school curriculum. It's exactly as I predicted. Social gain, academic loss. I'm trying to get her into the gifted/talented program, but I've been told "it's a process", and it sounds as if she'll be lucky to be admitted to it before the semester ends. Too bad, too, as they're focusing on writing this semester.

Even though home isn't her primary "school" anymore, we can still definitely make it the primary center of learning. I think I'll encourage us both to sign up for NaNoWriMo in November, and that can more than take the place of a G/T writing class. My husband is thinking of more interesting ways to teach her the science of electricity and magnetism that they are covering in an excruciatingly dull way at school, and that can happen as a fun weekend or evening activity. And who knows...we might end up doing hybrid homeschooling, as some families do: 3 Rs and science/social studies at home, band/choir/theatre/sports at school. She'd still have the advantage of seeing friends at school, but wouldn't have to be there for so many hours a day, and she could get a better quality education on her core subjects at home. I'm appalled at how low the school standards have gotten. The kids don't even get to know if they've gotten the correct answers in math! "Correct" is apparently now an oppressive white male patriarchal construct that has been rightfully purged from the curriculum. Gack!

October feels filled with promise. The days are back within my preferred temperature range, and I feel a surge of optimism during this, my favorite season of the year. It feels like a season of preparation, preparing for good things. Perhaps I can come up with a verb for October. "Optimizing" seems like a good candidate. It sure beats "slogging"!